The first instinct many exercise professionals have is to share their extensive knowledge with their client; the relationship moves in one direction, from the professional with the expertise to the client who’s hired them for their expertise. And in general, that’s the idea — exercise pros solve problems, design interventions and help people advance in their journey. 

But taking a step back from this model has some benefits too. Pros who take the time to assess their own assumptions, listen in on their client’s perspective and learn to ask more out-of-the-box questions can often get a lot more done in their sessions. Getting good outcomes for clients requires rapport and insight, and the path to both starts with knowing what to ask. 

For instance, “How are you feeling today?” is a standard open-ended question. You might hear “Pretty good,” or “Sore” or “Honestly, that workout yesterday killed me.” What if you were to instead ask, “What do you feel in your body right now?” The answers might be a bit different. If you have an established relationship with the client, you might even ask them something more unorthodox, like, “If what you’re feeling right now were a color, what would it be?” It’s not necessarily the case that their answers to such questions will give you a deeper insight into what’s going on with them, but it will teach you a bit about how they think — and it will build rapport between the two of you. 

Keep a few important points in mind during this process. First, know your boundaries. Open-ended questions can get you into personal territory pretty quickly. Decide what you’re willing to share and discuss, and what you aren’t. Second, try to steer the conversation toward a sense of calm. There will be times during exercise sessions, of course, when being calm is the last thing that’s needed. But overall, figuring out what makes your clients comfortable and calm will do wonders for their fitness journey. Third, work toward resilience. You don’t want your clients to rely on you completely for their motivation, validation and emotional well-being. After all, you can’t make them get off the couch and come to their session, and that’s the hardest step of all. Helping them find those things within themselves is key to progress. 

Finally, see if you can help your clients to take a 30,000-foot view of their situation. Well, maybe just a tad lower — encourage them to imagine they’re in a helicopter peering down on themselves and the situation they’re in. Ask them to describe it in detail. Zooming out on a problem, difficulty or goal (a) makes it seem smaller and (b) lets you see all of the moving parts at play much better than the view from the ground. Perspective is key. 

If you’d like to learn more about building rapport with beautiful questions, view this condensed infographic, or check out a more in-depth video from Wellcoaches. 

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